Artemis Fowl Fowl play
by sunset boulavard
Summary: Set 2 years after OD. In Artemis's POV. Artemis, Holly and Mulch have a booming detecteve agency. Everything is normal. Well, normal for Artemis Fowl, anyway! That is until Megan Robbins, English criminal genius, joins the team and their world is turned u
1. Chapter 1

Artemis Fowl- Fowl play

Chapter 1- a new face?

Artemis's POV 

The normally crowded café was unusually quiet for a Saturday. About half a dozen people sat at small wooden tables, reading daily newspapers or surveying others over steaming cups of coffee. None of them looked my way though. Perhaps that was because of Butler, who was standing stiffly behind me, shielding me from possible bullets of a possible assassin. His hulking appearance and intimidating glare (not to mention the Sigsauer poking out from underneath his jacket), usually scares people.

I sighed and shook out some papers from my briefcase. Listed on there were some minor clues to our present client's problem. Holly, Mulch and I have got a private detective service and business is "booming", as they say. It has many benefits for me, as well. I get to use my ability to plan and my genius (cough, modest) by helping return stolen artefacts, Art and the like. Holly keeps me in check, to make sure I stay on the "Straight and narrow", as I quote. Its no good, I can't concentrate today.

I put the papers away and looked around. A young couple sat two tables away, gazing at each other in a very (I thought) sickening way. On another table, a harassed-looking mother was struggling with two screaming toddlers.

In the far corner, an adolesant girl sat, gazing at a notebook. Her hair was a hazelnut brown colour, and she was very pale, save for the rosy flushes on her cheeks. She looked familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I looked down at the table, only looking up to take a sip from my drink.

Ten minutes later 

I am now on my way to Harrods. My mother has been hassling me all weekend to by a new Venus statue for the water feature (apparently, an intoxicated vagrant stole the old one, thinking it was his wife. How he got in, I'll never know.) The girl I mentioned earlier is following us, but if I give the word, I know Butler won't hesitate in shooting her. She has just dived into Topshop, but I know that's just a ploy to get me off my guard.

We turned a corner…and there she was again…and I was staring down the barrel of a gun…not just any gun…a Neutino 2000! Where on earth did she get that? Or should I say under earth? Butler and I stopped short. The first words out of my mouth were-

"Who _are_ you?"

The girl smiled, a vampirish smile, that almost matched my own.

"I'm Megan Robbins, English criminal genius. And you need my help."

**Read and review please! Sunset Boulevard.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- another kidnap

Then she promptly burst out laughing. "I'm sorry!" she spluttered. "But your face!" Then she laughed some more.

I stared coldly at her. "Have you quite finished?" She looked up, and then looked down to the floor again. "I might have," she answered. "But seriously, Arty," I felt a muscle in my jaw twitch. "You do need my help!"

"In what way do I need your help? It seems to be you that needs help. Mental help." I peered at her. "Wait a moment," I said. "I hacked into Interpol…well, Foaly did.He said you had a host of crimes under your belt. Several art thefts, if I recall. And you scammed 5 celebrities out of £20,000 each." Megan nodded. "You have been busy."

She said. "But hey," she suddenly looked serious. "Even a genius needs help sometimes. I may not have the brains like you but I certainly have ideas. Phone Holly.

They mind-wiped me a couple of years back, but a certain female dwarf, Mulch's sister, helped me out. I was more of a friend than you were, to the LEP."

I considered it, then plucked out a mobile phone. "All right," I said. "I'll see if you're right."

Sorry its short, guys! I'm in a bit of a rush tonight! The next chapter is longer, I promise!

SB 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three- Mary 

I selected a number on speed dial. Megan watched me with interest. "Who are you phoning?" she asked. I frowned at her. "Who do you think I'm calling? Santa?" "Could be. No , I'm only having a laugh." I looked her over. "I noticed."

The line connected and I heard Holly's voice on the line. At last. Some sanity. Maybe." HMA Detective agency, how my I help you?" "Holly?" "Oh," Holly sounded disgruntled. "Its you. What do you want this time, mud boy?" I winced slightly. She sounded really irritated. "What's got your ears in a knot?" I asked calmly. "Mulch. He keeps whinging on to me about his sister, Mary. And I ask you, what sort of name is that for a dwarf?"

My ears pricked up on the mention of Mulch's sister. "Where does she live?" "Who? Mary? In Atlantis. But she's staying over here for a while." "Can I speak to her?" "Yeah. Knock yourself out."

I heard the phone being passed over. "Yeah, this is Mary. What?" She had a low voice, an octave higher than Mulch, but I could hear the similarities in the way she spoke. "I was wondering," I said, glaring at Megan, who was pacing across the pavement (or sidewalk, for you Americans), and reading a book simultaneously. I think it was_ Pride and prejudice._ "If you happened to know of a young woman by the name of Megan Robins?" "Oh, sure," Mary replied airily. "I busted her out of jail a couple of times. In Atlantis. Have you ever been?" "No, just Haven." "Well, come and see us, some time. Its awe inspiring."

Just then, I heard Mulch shout: "Is that the Mud-whelp?" "Yeah," Mary shouted. "Well, tell him he needs to get down here pronto. We got a desperate situation down here?" "What? There's no more cookies in the cookie jar?" she said sarcastically.

And then came the sentence that changed my life. Drastically.

"Opal's escaped from prison again. She's got a hostage and it ain't pretty." A pause. "Its Juliet."

I _think_ it's a bit longer…Anyway reviews please!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- Atlantis 

_Juliet. _The word seemed to echo inside my head. _Juliet. _Butler seemed to tense up behind me. I could imagine that his mouth had shrunk to an angry line. _Juliet._ My insides seemed to freeze up and my blood felt like ice inside my veins.

"I see." I said stiffly. "I'll try and get there anyway I can." "Go through Atlantis." Mary replied. "Megan knows the way. No doubt she'll have transport too." "Right." I swallowed. Hard. "We'll get there somehow. Goodbye."

I looked at Megan, who had stopped pacing. "See," she said smugly. "You do need my help. And I will help you…" There's an _if_ coming, I thought. "_If _you let me join HMA." There. Told you so. "Fine." I said, gritting my teeth. "But your not getting paid." "I didn't think I would. But money doesn't buy you everything, Arty. It doesn't buy you happiness. Or friends. Some of the richest people in the world are also the most miserable, because they get wrapped in cotton wool." She said. "But you're rich! Don't you have protective parents?"

She nodded. "Yeah. But they don't know I'm here. I ran away…a year ago. I took refuge in Atlantis." "How did you find it?" "I nearly drowned. I stowed away on a ferry, and got pushed "accidentally" overboard." Her voice was cold, unfeeling now.

"One of the Atlantians found me. They interrogated me, of course, but when they found I was alone, couldn't go back…they decided to let me stay a while. That's how I found out about you. And I wanted to help. I wanted to do something with my life, not be stuffed in ultimate luxury. It nearly stifled me. So, here I am. If you want my help, help me. Give me a purpose, a job, to earn my keep. Let me join your agency and I'll do all I can to help you find your friend." She turned away. "Or whatever."

"Do have any transport?" This was from Butler. I looked up at him, and something in his eyes. Pity. This, more than anything, decided me. "We'll help you as much as we can." I said, and was shocked to discover it shook slightly. "But, Butler is right…do you have any transport?" "Yes." She answered. "But we need to get to Iceland. And I need a disguise."

Five hours later 

Megan's hair is now blond and she has brown eyes (contacts). She changed into an orange Tropicana t-shirt and a denim jacket, black trousers and trainers. We got some false passports, and got on the plane.

Megan says I will love Atlantis. I feel apprehension and excitement at the thought. I have an affinity with water. I don't know why. Pehaps in the silky touch of it, the thought that it can be a safe warm cocoon or a freezing ice-trap of death. I don't know. But I do know something.

That the heart of all civilisation lies in Atlantis.


	5. Thsi is not a chapter!

_**This is not a chapter!**_

I have not read the lost colony yet, and so if anything in this story doesn't fit with the LC, I apologise but I am going to carry on writing anyway, even if I remain woefully ignorant. Happy reading!


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Not so perfect 

We touched down at an airport on the coast between Grindavik and Keflavik. (A/N-yes, they are real places!). It was about a mile to the beach, and it was summer and Iceland in summer is pretty much like England in summer, except with mosquitoes.

So, we decided to walk (after spraying copious amounts of mosquito repellent on).

On the way I noticed scars criss-crossing over her wrist. She obviously had been self-harming. Why? Depression? I asked her about it. "Well," she said, turning her head away. "If you want the truth," she hesitated. "I was bullied at school." "So?" I pointed out. "So do most people. Even I did…before Butler sorted them out." I smiled, remembering how Christopher Hayford came to school with a limp and a black eye the next day.

But Megan shook her head. "No," she said quietly. "You think its because I was rich, don't you? But it wasn't." She bowed her head. "It was because I was fat. And unattractive. They took the micky out of my nose as well." I noticed for the first time that it was a little larger than your average pretty girl's. Also that she was curvier than your average model. But she had bundles of attitude to counter that.

She'd built up a shell around herself in Atlantis, thought it would be strong enough against the world. But I had broken it down as easily as a chocolate egg. Just by making her think about her faults, and her past. I'd worn her tough wall down, and she was left cowering, weak, with nowhere to hide.

We had reached the edge of the beach. Megan sat down on a barnacle-covered rock.

I suddenly realised that behind the professional façade, behind the no-nonsense confidence, that Megan Robbins was just a girl. Just a girl. And she wasn't perfect. Nobody is perfect. Anybody who thinks they are is deluded.

I made up my mind on that beach. You know, when you're trying to decide if you can trust a person enough to be your acquaintance. To know that a secret will stay a secret with them. "Megan?" I said, clambering clumsily over the rocks to get to the adjacent rock. She looked up, eyes red and cheeks stained with tears. "You've got a friend." I said, extending my pale hand to her even paler one. She took it, shook it and picked off a barnacle from the one she was sitting on, then jammed it into a crevice. A hole opened at the base of the rock. She jumped off the rock and into the pale sand, peering into the hole. She looked up at me.

"Yes." She said. "And we've got a vehicle." She place her hand on a small space of barnacle free rock and the rock suddenly broke away fom the other rocks and hovered in front of us. She pushed in through the open hole. I followed her nervously inside. And gaped at the silk seats and controls jammed into the space, "Seatbelts on!" Megan barked. Seatbelts immediately slid across me. Megan turned to me. "Are you ready, sir?" She said. "Because we are going for one hell of a ride!"

Read and review! SB.


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